Atlanta Rhythm Section Rock and Roll Alternative

Right now I am listening to one of my favorite bands if we're talking about favorite bands who put out one BEAST songs. The Atlanta Rhythm Section Album "Rock and Roll Alternative" has a song on it called "So Into You" and it is one of my favorite songs. I don't know if ARS was a one hit wonder because I don't know if So Into You was a hit but it is in my book for sure. The title of the album says a lot because So Into You isn't much of a Rock song. More like Yacht Rock but if you keep your Yacht in Atlanta...WOAH NELLY! A song called Outside Woman Blues just came on. Their rock and roll side is definitely coming out here so I guess So Into You is the main alternative to rock and roll. Kind of a weird title. Outside Woman Blues?? Does that mean they are writing a song from the POV of a Woman who is cold? Or a woman who is jealous of a guy and girl having a happy relationship? Or is it a guy who has the blues because he is not "inside" a woman? hey Ohhhh...I actually doubt these guys had any trouble getting laid in the late 70's especially in Atlanta or the whole state of Georgia for that matter. They are probably to Georgia what Benny Mardonis is to upstate New York as far as fucking local groupies. In fact, I wouldn't be surprised if Benny Mardonis and the Atlanta Rhythm Section got together for a tour of State Fairs across the country back in the day. Maybe it was called the So Into The Night Tour. ZING!!! Hot Blog!!!

Blow Fly Oldies But Goodies

Last night I purchased an album by Blow Fly who is the alter ego of the great Clarence Reid. I've been a big fan of Clarence Reid ever since I heard his song "Masterpiece" which is very much what the song title says it is. Upon buying my first Clarence Reid record, a friend of mine told me that Clarence Reid was also this guy called Blow Fly. While Clarence Reid would sing great, clean funk and soul songs, Blow Fly would sing dirty versions of Oldies such as "Rock Around the Clock" "Love Potion #9" "Blue Moon" etc. etc, but instead of the original lyrics the songs are littered with refernces to fucking, sucking, cocks, mouth fucking, pussy, you get the picture. Now normally I wouldn't buy this record because I'm not a big fan of sex humor, jerk off humor, and ball humor. It's just kind annoying in my mind. But this is actually really funny. I mean instead of saying Love Potion Number 9, he says "So I won't fuck nobody in the behind." It doesn't flow or really rhyme at all with Love Potion Number 9 but thats what is funny about it. It's so beyond uncreative that it's actually creative. I really don't know when I would ever play this, perhaps when I'm high (like I am right now) with friends or maybe while I'm hooking up with a girl but even then it might get weird. I mean he talks about sticking a corn cob up a girls ass. That's not even kinky. That's borderline torture. And did I fail to mention he inserts these lines into doo wop oldies of the 50's and 60's? I never thought I would hear the words "tight pussy" and "asshole" in "In the Still Of The Night." There's nothing "still" about this version. And the song I just heard was his version of "Smoke Gets In Your Eyes." And what do you think Blow Fly sung instead of the famous lyric "Smoke Gets in Your Eyes???" Can you predict it? You guessed it! "Old Age Got In My Dick." What did you think he would sing? "Cum Gets In Your Eyes?" Nope. This is Blow Fly not Eminem.....HOLY SHIT! Right now he is singing "I Only Have Eyes For You" and instead of the background singers saying "Doo Wop Shoo Wop" througout the song, they are saying "Suck a Cock." This is the best record ever! and something that I just realized is great about this record and black people in general is that after Blow Fly delivers a dirty sex lyric, there are black people in the background laughing like black people. You know the laugh which is preceded with an almost blood curdling scream? The Black Laugh.

Beverly Hills Cop Soundtrack

I just bought the Beverly Hills Cop Soundtrack on vinyl. The album is filthy in that 80's R&B way. Lots of synthesizers and drum machines. I mean we're talking about bands like Shalamar, Pointer Sisters, Junior (??) and Patti Labelle. What is even better though is despite all the R&B music, they decide to throw Glen Frey on the soundtrack. That's hilarious. It never occurred to me how out of place that song is on this soundtrack. That's like having Tom Petty on the Precious soundtrack.





The Heat definitely is on, Glen. You sure are the New Kid in Town.

Al Jarreau Breakin' Away

Sitting here listening to the Al Jarreau album "Breakin' Away." I remember the first time I ever heard Al Jarreau I was in college watching the movie Night Shift. There was a song during a montage from the movie where Henry Winkler and Michael Keaton are really pulling in the dough from their whore house. The song was Girls Know How by Uncle Al and it was straight beast. It was definitely 80's funk and soul so it had a cheesiness to it but regardless it was beast!! I ended up watching the end credits to find out who sung that song and when I saw that it was Al Jarreau, I immediately downloaded it and from that point on was hooked on Jarreau. You can imagine my excitement when I watched yet another 80's classic a few years later called Hot Dog: The Movie and yet again heard another Al Jarreau song titled "I Will Be Here For You" and the obsession continued. That song was very filthy in that 80's R&B way it was playing during a scene which consisted of lots of nudity, champagne and silk (which go well with Jarreau). Then of course Seth Rogen had to go and make fun of not only Mr. Jarreau but also Steely Dan in the mediocre Knocked Up. I still haven't forgiven Seth Rogen for that. But anyway, I'm getting sidetracked. The fact of the matter is Al Jarreau is beast. When I started collecting records, I fell into some Al Jarreau records early on thanks to some friends of mine who were getting rid of their vinyl and had some Al Jarreau which I more than happily accepted. After listening to those records and revisiting the Jarreau songs that initally sparked my interest, I have come to the conclusion that if Michael McDonald is Yacht Rock then Al Jarreau is Yacht Funk. I mean come on, look at the guy...



I think Al Jarreau is the first black R&B Singer who wanted to be white. I am listening to a song right now called Roof Garden. Really Al? You spent a lot of time on Roof Gardens? Maybe it should be called Garden Funk.

Charlie Barnet

Right now I am listening to a record by Charlie Barnet. He is a jazz musician from either the 50's or 60's but it could very well be from the 40's. This was one of the first records I ever bought and the cover is what initially drew me to it. When I started collecting vinyl, I would only buy records based on the cover. This cover is of Charlie Barnet in a suit, playing a sax and wearing an Indian Chief's feathers. Pretty amazing. I had a feeling that because he was wearing a suit, playing a sax and had a song called One O'Clock Jump that it would be jazzy and it is. To be honest, it's actually a beast record. It's not my favorite type of jazz (see my blog about Tom Scott) but it's still good. It's very smoking indoors type Jazz. A Negro wearing a tuxedo and serving you drinks Jazz. Driving into vegas in a movie and this being the source music Jazz. The Shining Jazz. A 1950's detective in a dilemma over a woman Jazz. Asshole Jazz. Dickey Greenleaf Jazz. Basically, it's Jazz.

The Dolly Parton Collection

Right now I am listening to the Dolly Parton Collection which is a great double album. I never really knew much about Dolly Parton outside of her having fucking cannons for tits as well as singing the original version of "I Will Always Love You." I always thought those were her only claims to fame but oh was I wrong. I'd say other than Patsy Cline and Loretta Lynn, she has the greatest voice out of all other female country singers. I just looked at this record and it has a sticker on it that says "Imported From Britain." That's funny to me. I can't imagine Dolly Parton or any American Country being popular in Britain. Can you imagine walking into a bar in Liverpool and throwing Dolly Parton on? I would imagine it'd be kind of weird. Does England even have country music? That is the one genre of music that I have never really heard come from that country. I mean the Beatles, Rolling Stones, Led Zeppelin all had some sort of country sounding song but nothing like Dolly Parton. Right now a song is on called Mule Skinner Blues...MULE SKINNER BLUES!!! That is so fucking insane! I would hope you'd have the blues after skinning any animal, unless of course you are totally country and skin animals for a living. But even then I bet if you had a bad day at the "office" then you could technically have mule skinner blues but if you have mule skinner blues then that means you hate skinning mules therefore you should quit immediately because if you hate animal skinning but don't want to quit because it's a job, then you're kind of fucked up.

Captain Beefheart Shiny Beast

I just got home from work and saw that Captain Beefheart's record "Shiny Beast" was here waiting for me amongst the other mail. I recently purchased this record on ebay and oh am I happy that I did. Much like Frank Zappa, it has taken me a while to come around to Captain Beefheart. It's very similar to Frank Zappa in that it's weird fucking music, some of which is unlistenable (is that a word?) But at the end of the day, Captain Beefheart and Zappa have some fucking bad ass tunes. Right now I am listening to Tropical HotDog Night which is probably Beefhearts best song. It also may be the best title for a song ever. Right up there with Camarillo Brillo by Zappa. I guess the point of this blog and the one before is that Frank Zappa and Captain Beefheart are the most innovative musicians of all time. I mean the Beatles had their share of innovation but personally I think Captain Beefheart makes Sgt. Pepper seem like Private Pyle.

Frank Zappa Hot Rats

I am currently listening to Frank Zappa's incredible album Hot Rats. This album is so unbelievably BEAST!! It took me a while to come around to Frank Zappa mainly because a lot of songs that he sings always sounded to me like the songs a five year old would write. But the more and more I collect records and learn about music, the more I have come to love Frank Zappa. I mean his name is Frank Zappa for fucks sake! How could you not be a beast musician with that name??...or a dermatologist with cheesy ads. "Call Dr. Frank Zappa, he'll Zappa-way your zits!

Little Feat Time Loves a Hero

Right now I am listening to the Little Feat album "Time Loves A Hero." You could say that I am on a bit of a Little Feat kick right now. It's due to the fact that I am on a major Phish kick right now and they recently covered a Little Feat album at their Halloween concert. I never really gave Little Feat a chance. I bought this album at Housingworks Bookstore in Soho about a month ago not because I had to have it but because it was either Little Feat, Linda Ronstadt, The Aztec Two Step or David Cassidy (Lets just say Housingworks record section was a tad dry that day). I listened to it when I got home and liked it but wasn't blown away. But then out of the blue, Phish decided to cover the Little Feat album Waiting For Columbus. Phish has been known for covering some pretty legendary albums, i.e White Album, Exile on Main St., Loaded, Quadrophenia, and when I saw that they would be doing a Little Feat album I immediately decided to go back and see if there was something that I was missing and you know what there wasn't. I mean don't get me wrong, they are a great band to blast from your SUV with all the doors open at a bonfire but then again, so is Phish. Now Phish is clearly one of the best bands ever but I think it says a lot about Phish for them to cover a band like Little Feat. There has to be something that I'm not seeing here. I mean Little Feat reminds me of a poor mans Doobie Brothers.........or are the Doobie Brothers a poor mans Little Feat? Wait, do the Doobie Brothers suck? I mean yeah they had Michael McDonald, which goes a long way, but Phish has never covered a Doobie Brothers record or song that I can remember...holy shit! The Doobie Brothers kind of suck and....wait, No, oh my god!!! As I am listening to a song on this record called Red Streamliner, Michael McDonald just came on as a background vocalist...WOW! What are the odds....... Holy fuck, I just looked at the album notes and the Tower of Power horn section is on this album too as is Jeff Skunk Baxter...Woah!!!! Little Feat kicks ass....to have those people on your record is a Huge Feat!!!

Tom Scott & The LA Express Tom Cat

Listening to the album "Tom Cat" by Tom Scott and the LA Express. For those of you who don't know Tom Scott, he is a great saxophone player and his band is equally as great. They are a jazz group from the 70's which meant instead of cocaine and heroin like 50's and 60's jazz, it was more cocaine, heroin and electic pianos. I really prefer what jazz became in the 1970's as opposed to jazz in the 50's and 60's. It was a little funkier and overall more fun to listen to. I enjoy jazz from the 50's and 60's but it's too "Yeeeeaaaah, jaaaaaazzzz, cigarettes and suits and coffee, etc." Whereas 70's (and even 80's) jazz is more like "Yeaaaaah, lets fuck all night in multiple positions and be tan and do coke and wear valour shirts and drive corvettes and go to Palm Springs and play tennis at a mansion in LA and do more coke and be in movies like Night Shift and reapeat all those things all the time, etc. etc. etc.. I guess what I'm trying to say is the 70's seemed like a good god damn time.

Leon Russell Carney

Right now I am listening to the Leon Russell album Carney. The funny thing about this record and pretty much every Leon Russell album for that matter is the cover. No offense to Leon but he is about as creepy and ugly a person as you're gonna find. Not murderer creepy or molester creepy but creepy creepy. And to make matters worse, on this album cover he decided to paint his face white like he is part of a carnival. Uh, earth to Leon, you don't have to paint your face to appear like a carney. You kind of are a carney with the face God gave you. At the end of the day though his voice is great. Kind of sounds like Dr. John. Leon Russell also plays piano so who knows if he ripped off Dr. Johns style or if Dr. John ripped him off but I don't really care because they are both enjoyable to listen to but Leon Russell has Dr. John smoked with his album covers and overall "carney" features. Although I don't think Calvin Klein is calling up Dr. John to be their new underwear model any time soon. He's about as handsome as he is a doctor. Kudos to Leon Russell though because perhaps he finds himself as grotesque as I do thus the reason he called the album Carney.

The Great Soul Hits of....

Listening to a record I picked up a few weeks ago called The Great Soul Hits of...The album doesn't actually have (...) at the end of it but I don't feel like writing in the names Jackie Wilson, Gene Chandler, Barbara Acklin, Young Holt Unlimited, Big Maybelle, and the Artistics...DOH!!! Anyhoo, this is a great album. Kind of sounds like something you would hear in a diner or a gymnasium dance back in the 50's or 60's. Oh how popular music has changed. I would love to go to high school back when this music was what you heard on the radio and/or at a school dance. I mean I didn't regret going to Immaculate Heart Central High School homecoming and hearing Brandy, N'Sync, Quad City DJ's etc, etc because when I think back on that music I actually get nostalgic about it, even though I hated it at the time. But the music on this record is such good music. I almost feel like in another life I was a teenager in the 50's because of how nostalgic this music makes me. I wonder what I would have been like. I definitely wouldn't have been a greaser and I know I wouldn't have been a soce. I think I would have enjoyed hanging with both groups. Been sort of like a groce or a seaser. Oh well, guess we'll never know. In the meantime Big Maybelle is killin' it right now with a hot tune called Nobody Knows the Trouble I've Seen. No I sure haven't Big May but just listening to your voice I'm sure it consisited of poverty, abuse and maybe a little junk.